


"You guys are horrible friends."

by orphan_account



Series: Thiam Shorts :) [7]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Jokes, Crack, Drunk Texting, Embarrassment, Fun, Humiliation, I'm Bad At Tagging, Liam Dunbar Being an Idiot, Liam Dunbar is So Done, Liam Dunbar is a Softie, M/M, Minor Corey Bryant/Mason Hewitt, Misunderstandings, Pack Feels, Puppy Liam, Stressed Liam Dunbar, The Pack Being Idiots, Theo is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24691069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Liam's convinced that he does possess plenty of common sense, and the puppy pack bring up multiple past conversations to prove him wrong.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: Thiam Shorts :) [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1767952
Comments: 10
Kudos: 87





	"You guys are horrible friends."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 3 am, and have no idea where this idea came from really. I guess it's inspired by dumb things my friends and I have both said, and I was lacking inspiration, so I hope this little spurt of randomness makes you laugh 😊 it made me laugh, but they may be because it's 2 am where I live and anything makes me laugh at 2 am😌
> 
> They will be speaking in speech marks, but then quoting things inside of said speech marks, so it may look a bit confusing, sorry :/

“I’m going to pass, right? I mean, I can’t not.” Liam rambled anxiously, his friends staring at him in despair.

“Liam, you passed, alright. With flying colours I’m sure.” Mason put a hand on his best friend’s shoulder comfortingly, they were all sat in a circle on Liam’s bed, and were unsurprisingly incredibly awkward, given that trying to fit six teenage boys onto one bed was never a good idea. “You studied harder than any of us, there’s no way you flunked. Trust me.”

Liam bit down on his nails hard. He was the last of the ‘puppy pack’ as they had regrettably been named to receive his grades this semester (bar Alec of course, who was in the year below the rest of them), and he had put in too much effort to fail now.

“Liam, calm down, you may be lacking common sense, but you’re talented in some areas, I guess. You’ll have done just fine.” Theo intertwined his hand with his boyfriends and smiled warmly. “Plus, then I’ll finally not have to deal with you bitching about schoolwork anymore.” Liam just rolled his eyes at this comment and pulled his hand away from Theo’s in mock offence.

“You guys are right. I’ll have done fine, it’s fin-, wait, what do you mean lacking common sense?” Liam cut himself off as Theo’s words sunk in. “I possess plenty of common sense thank you very much.” Mason sighed, Corey raised his eyebrows, Nolan shook his head, Alec stifled a laugh, and Theo smirked with a patronising essence evident. What? Liam was a very sensible, reliable person, he was sure of it.

“I’m sorry to break it to you Liam, but you really don’t.” Corey chuckled at the still clearly offended beta. 

“I do too. Name one time I haven’t displayed an excellent use of common sense.” Liam challenged the highly amused pack around him.

“Liam, you really don’t want to do that.” Nolan warned but Liam just shook his head defiantly.

“No, come on, try me.” The pack shared an ecstatic glance upon hearing those words and Theo leapt off the bed to get his phone.

“Dumbest things Liam’s said?” he asked eagerly, and the others nodded, a look of pure euphoria was the best way Liam could describe what was spreading across all of their faces.

“Wait, what?” Liam stuttered; he had definitely not expected them to have come prepared for this.

“Oh Li, you act like we haven’t been prepping this for a year now.” Mason sighed yet again and Liam shook his head in denial, what? 

“Number one, that’s really sad. I feel sorry for you. And number two, what the fuck guys?!”

“You asked us, now sit down and listen like a good little wolf.” Theo sat back down and his smirk grew wider as he saw Liam sink in defeat.

“Corey, you going first?” Mason prompted his boyfriend who had also drawn out his phone, they all had, and Liam was feeling the desperate feeling growing inside of him. He saw Corey open up his notes app to a page indeed called, ‘Dumbest things Liam’s said’ and his eyes widened even further.

“You guys actually have been preparing this, you sad shits.” 

“You texted me, and I quote, ’I can breathe underwater as a werewolf, right? You know, the moon also controls the tides, thus the sea, so, I could be a teenage mermaid, wanna go try it out, you could have a camouflagey, chameleon tail?’” Liam blushed furiously as Corey stared at him, one eyebrow raised. 

“Technically, I made some good points there.” He folded his arms. “Doesn’t count.”

“Fine, next one, Mase.” Corey passed the torch over to Mason, who’s eyes bugged reading the next line. 

“‘I love the smell of incest. '” Mason quoted Liam's text bluntly, expressionless and Liam choked, while Alec erupted in a fit of laughter, unable to contain it any longer. “I’m assuming you meant incense but one mustn’t assume.” Liam genuinely didn’t remember saying that, but he wouldn’t put it past himself. 

“I was almost definitely not 100% with it when I said that, but alright. I’ll allow that, but that was a one-time thing.” Liam said curtly, the red flush on his cheeks spreading rapidly as his pack continued to laugh at him hysterically. 

“Ok, ok, I’ve got one.” Nolan announced and Liam groaned, he was starting to see Theo’s point. “’Malia’s complaining about her period, should I be worried I haven’t gotten mine yet? What if I’m pregnant? I wonder if Theo would be a good dad’” Theo muttered something unintelligible under his breath and Liam promptly smothered himself with his pillow. He wouldn’t have been mad if it had actually smothered him and he was starting to wish it would. “Two minutes later, ‘never mind, I forgot I was a dude and can't get preggo for a solid minute, guess it’s because I’m banging a dude. You’re fucking Alec, do you ever forget you’re a guy?’ and that was the end of that conversation.” 

“Do you forget you’re a guy sometimes Nol?” Alec asked genuinely and Nolan promptly tackled him with a different pillow, Liam was still hiding behind his, mortified.

“I’m so offended you didn’t immediately know I would be a good father baby wolf. I would be a great dad. Are you sure you’re not pregnant?” Theo teased and poked Liam from behind the pillow. 

“Fuck off. I remember being absolutely hammered that time too, so there.” Liam emerged to more skeptical glances from his closest friends. “And I’m still not giving up how sad it is that you’ve kept note of these.”

“My turn!” Alec declared excitedly, “’Birds are mammals because they have meat, obviously.’ Someone clearly knows his biology well, Theo, you’ve got competition.”  
This initiated the second round of hysteria and Mason had to wipe tears away from his eyes. 

“Well I’m really glad you’re majoring in history is all I have to add to that.” Corey blinked away tears of his own and Liam just scowled, birds looked like mammals, how was he supposed to remember they lay eggs? 

“Ooh, I bet Scott has something good to add to this list.” Theo’s eyes sparkled mischievously and Liam raised his eyebrows threateningly, hoping to get the ‘don’t you dare’ message across. “I’ll give him a call, why don’t I?”

“I’m not sure how this is helping me feel better about my grades guys?” 

“Lemme just call up big bad alpha, here we are. Scott.” Theo found Scott’s contact on his phone and pressed face time, while Liam sulked, lying face down on the bed now. Scott answered quick as a flash and popped up on the screen, his trademark look of worry present. “Hey Scott.”

“What’s wrong? Is Liam hurt?” Scott asked frantically. 

“No, chill. I was just wondering if you could share the dumbest, most embarrassing thing Liam’s ever said to you. Shouldn’t be too hard, I’m sure he’s made many statements that fit that category.” Theo shrugged nonchalantly as if that was a perfectly normal, everyday thing to ask his boyfriend’s alpha, especially one he had previously murdered. 

“I have so many questions, you guys confuse the hell out of me, honestly. And no, Theo, Liam would kill me.” Scott shook his head at the disappointed chimera. Mason and Corey also looked deflated and Nolan and Alec were still wrestling, they had made it to the floor now. 

“Meh, I don’t care.” Malia strolled into the room casually and grabbed the phone off Scott. “He once asked me, ‘What’s the name of the movie following the Titanic, with Leo DiCaprio? I swear it begins with T. Also, young Leo is smoking hot, I’d let that guy break my back like a glow stick.’” Malia imitated the teenager expressionlessly, and easily, as Scott sighed disapprovingly, and Liam flipped her off, came up behind a positively beaming Theo, and hung up the phone roughly. 

“And we thought it was lucky you were doing history as your major but here we are.” Mason chuckled. “Gotta agree with you with the Leo statement, who gave that guy a permit to be that good looking?”

“I know right! I mean seriously, that guy could do things to me-" Liam and Mason stopped with their Leonardo DiCaprio rant as the rest of the puppy pack stared, slightly concerned about the practically drooling teenagers. “I mean, you guys are dicks. Who’s next, my Mom?” Liam immediately regretted that as he saw Theo’s face light up again with that cunning look, that wasn’t a bad look on him Liam had to admit though, if Theo was being mean, at least he looked hot doing it. 

“Perfect! Jenna. Kid Liam, a gold mine of embarrassing stories.” Theo grinned and face timed his practically adoptive mother, her face popped up on the screen and the entirety of the pack huddled into the frame to wave joyfully, except Liam who was still moaning in embarrassment. 

“Hey Jenna, how are you?” Corey asked the woman politely but Theo just waved dismissively. 

“Jenna, what was little Liam’s, not that he’s not little anymore to be honest, like, most embarrassing or dumnest thing he believed or said to you?” he asked hastily, straight to business. Liam moved into the frame to shake his head furiously at his mother, begging her not to add to what had been a nightmare of an afternoon. But he knew that Jenna would never give up such an opportunity. 

“Easy. Kid Liam used to think that the world use to genuinely be in black and white, seeing as all the movies and photos were obviously not in colour. He was certainly a bright kid, weren’t you honey?”

“Goodbye Mom.” Liam spoke harshly over the laughs of his friends he had genuinely gotten sick of hearing in the last half an hour and hung up on his Mom. 

“So, seriously, why are you are a history student again Liam?” Nolan teased and Liam just punched him squarely on the shoulder. 

“You never told us what the dumbest thing Liam’s ever asked you was Theo?” Mason inquired and Theo’s grin stretched wider than Liam had considered possible for the man. 

“Well, I have a lot, but a personal favourite of mine was ‘but we can both top together at the same time, right, there doesn’t have to be a bottom?’ when we were arguing about who got to top that night. Liam’s intelligence is such a turn on.” Theo sighed mock blissfully. Liam punched him on the jaw, causing the elder of the two to grunt in pain. 

“I. Was. Drunk. You. Little. Shit.” Liam enunciated, breaking between each word to continue punching his boyfriend. The other members of the pack were practically choking on their own saliva snorting. “You guys are horrible friends, you know that right?” 

“I’m sorry Liam, we can go play mermaids now.” Mason said solemnly and Theo nearly pissed himself. 

“Very funny Mase.”

“No genuinely, we are sorry, we shouldn’t mess with you while you’re all worked up, you know, pregnancy hormones.” Alec added slyly. 

“Haha.” Liam rolled his eyes. 

“So, do you guys top at the same time too?” Theo asked coyly which caused yet another round of laughter at the beta’s expense. Liam sank down in defeat, sure this had been fun, and there was nothing he loved more than seeing his friends happy, but he was still really worked up about those grades, and he really couldn’t take his mind off of them now, as much as his shitty friends had distracted him. Theo caught onto this, and scooped the teenager into his arms, Liam sitting in his lap and Theo hugging him from behind. “You’re going to be fine baby wolf. Trust me.”

“Thank you Theo, I love you so much.” He turned to cup Theo’s face in his hands and kissed him softly. 

“I love you too Li.”

“Ugh, get a room you two.” Alec cried out in mock disgust, “Now who’s up for watching that movie about the Titanic, we may have to look up the title though, and no spoilers if you’ve already seen it.” 

“Fuck you Alec.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and feedback are always appreciated 🥰 you guys make my day :)


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